had been a very long time ever since i had the feeling im having now.

have u ever cried with ur pillow and no one consoled u?

i just cried with my pillow and no one consoled me.

have u ever felt desperate in finding someone to talk to but no someone for u to talk to?

im now feeling so desperate in finding someone to talk to but no one for me to talk to.

i really wana cry all my sorrow out till i got no more tears to drop.

well perhaps blogging is a good way for me to throw my frustration.

vent my anger.

'listen' to all my sorrows.

i miss those days tat just 1 call or just 1 msg.

all will come out to talk to laugh and even to cry.

but now?

things had change.

again.

im tired.

real tired.

mentally tired.

abt work?

yes.

there is really endless work for me to complete.

it seems like to take forever to finish.

24hrs per day is not enough for me.

hais.

abt relationship?

yes.

i just feel tat im a useless gf.

he is in trouble yet i cant do anything to help him.

i dunno wat to do.

isn't it im useless?

hais.

i really dunno wat will happen next.

really hope and pray tat everything will turn better.

y is my life have to go thru so much ups and downs.

i really got enough of those le.

when can i have my carefree life?

when im old in my 80s?

oso dunno im tat long life or not.

hais.

all i want is to enjoy life.

y cant i?

sat n sun off.

this week i only work 4 days.

isn't it great?

lols.

hope my next mth schedule will be this wonderful too.

wahaha~

=DD

had been msging ppl dating them out for my celebration.

xmas celebration too!!

hee.

abit kiasu?

ok lah.

all ppl so busy.

if nv book them early think they wont be free de.

haa.

but i still got no idea where to go yet.

any suggestions?

hee.

=p

appreciate for those who replied me.

for those who nv reply.

does it mean tat they dont seem to care?

i wonder.

so do i need to care whether they attend or not?

im still wondering.

hmmm... ...

so shocking.

last week saw diana during work.

ytd receive her msg saying she getting engage on 9dec.

wow congrats her!!

hope i can go ba.

dont dare to request another sunday off again.

coz i had request 3 weekends off liao.

opps!

bleah!

dont envy wat others are having.

achieve wat u wana get.

(:

my 5 days class is over.

got another cert.

got another diploma.

did not get dean's list.

did not get any award back.

of coz im sad.

still i had already done my best.

wat the consultants and bosses say is right.

did not get any award is alright.

the most impt thing is to apply wat we had learnt during th 5 days in store.

yup.

(:

back to work.

more confident.

troubleshoot things and equipments is in my fingertips le.

can think fast le.

haa.

5 days did not work in store.

i missed my store.

i missed my crews.

slowly there had became my second home liao.

haa.

i had overcome the fear of doing cloing alone.

unlike the first few times got so much problems.

lols.

but still there is so many ppl objecting me working this.

i still find no reason for me to leave this job.

the bottom line is.

i love this job.

unless one day i hate this job.

i will leave.

if not i feel tat no one have the right to stop me from wat i love to do.

tat include my love ones.

(:

met diana at my work ytd.

recently so got fate with my poly friends.

think its really time for us to have a gathering ba.

but when?

lols.

at times.

im still afraid.

i still feel so insecure.

i still having the fear of losing tat i used to have.

i dont want!

I dOnT wAnT!!

I DONT WANT ALL THESE~!!!

but.

we both love each other so much tat dont bear to leave.

hee.

=p

so qiao.

2 days ago met my ai ren at bugis.

i did not notice her.

is like suddenly got 2 hands appear right infront of me.

as if wana slap me like tat.

haa.

den i realise is her.

im so shocked.

i shouted lor.

lols.

miss my ai ren so much.

oso dunno when we can meet again.

soon k?

again so qiao.

met zhao at marina square my workplace there.

he was with those guys tat im not close with.

so nv go and say hello to them.

haa.

they was not at mac.

they was beside at starbucks.

everything is just so damn qiao lor.

i was outside taking delivery then zhao walk pass mac.

i was like 'ehh zhao~!!'

lols.

den we chatted for awhile.

yeah long ago i expected for sure he sure say me.

i did not organise chalet.

-_-

he always blame me on this.

since feb last day of sch.

till july de graduation.

till oct zhao went ns liao.

i still nv organise.

haha.

seriously i dunno when we can get all together again leh.
is tat possible?

who can make it possible?

when can this be possible again?

yo hoo~!!

i had uploaded all my recent pics.

college and photoshop them le.

all at my friendster le.

haha dolly lisa sorry for the delay.

to apologise i had email u 2 liao.

hee.

for the rest of u all who wants invidual photos.

try ur luck and catch me on msn ba.

coz the file is too large cant attach to email.

ohh ya!!

do comment on the college i had done wor.

enjoy seeing!

hee.

=p

work work work.

got so much things to do.

endless stuffs to complete.

going to mid month le.

pay cut off date is drawing near.

lotsa stuffs to key in.

need to be quick coz i wont be in store for abt a week.

wait my crews got less pay all come aft me den i die liao lor.

work work work.

argh~

hmm.

things really seems like changing as time goes.

i felt so insecure.

like wat i used to feel.

i dont like to feel it tat way.

im really afraid the insecure feeling will one day become losing.

i really cant afford to lose.

hais.

perhaps im just thinking too much?

or im not used to this kind of sudden change of lifestyle?

or im just simply asking too much?

i really wish hope and pray tat i wont make another mistake.

(:

had iris bdae celebration at waraku.

no full attendance.

but we still enjoy ourselves.

(:

will upload all my photos soon.

no time to photoshop them.

will do all one shot when i got the time.

dont come aft me for the photos.

esp dolly and lisa.

opps!

lols.

=D

im doing quite well at work.

learning things bit by bit as days goes by.

adapting to the stress.

going for class on the 12nov.

looking forward for the class.

coz aft class im certified assistant manager.

den i got 1 less thing to stress abt le wat.

coz go for the class need to do so much pre work.

like doing homework lor.

so on the 17nov back to work.

can happily wear my '2nd assistant manager' nametag liao.

'trainee manager' nametag can throw aside liao.

den next month pay higher le.

haa.

next.

things going very well between me and him.

the time we spend together is really much more lesser den before le.

coz of his work and my work.

reallie hope tat work wont pull us apart.

happy 2mths.
(: